"I did not know Tom but I know Sue. She was our nursing director at CHW. She is a special person and devoted wife and Mom. I know she treasured her husband so much. This news was so sad and her, old friends at CHW are thinking of her. "
In loving memory of
Tom Ela
Tom Ela died on Tuesday, May 31 at his home on Lake Beulah. After battling chronic depression for over 30 years, he ended his life. He fought the disease bravely and with dignity, succumbing to its viciousness only after seeking every available treatment. He revealed the degree of his suffering to a very few, and carried on an active lifestyle until his death. Everyone who met Tom saw a special light in him, and he was beloved by all.
Born in Madison in 1950 to Robert and Mary Ela, Tom graduated from the UW-Milwaukee School of Architecture and had a career designing beautiful things for the world, including homes for his family.
Tom loved his family above all else, and brought joy and a sense of wonder into their lives. His children are grateful for having had the greatest Dad in the world, and wish that all children could have such a role model. He was twice a Big Brother in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program, once as a bachelor in his 30s, and once as an empty nester in his 60s. Children could sense his goodness, and gravitated to him.
Tom deeply appreciated wild things, and expressed his spirituality in nature. An avid canoeist, sailor, boater, and skier, he skied the American Birkebeiner 33 times, finishing every race no matter how horrid the conditions. One of his greatest gifts was fostering a love for the outdoors in his family.
Tom was a complete man: intellectually curious, creative, humble, and kind. He transcended boundaries and was competent in any setting. His calm charisma drew people in and made them feel at ease.
Tom leaves behind a grieving family who have lost their rock: his wife Sue; children Annie, John, Julia, and Phillip Sasser; sister Kate and her husband Tom McMahan, their children Erin and Scott McMahan; and countless other friends and family members.
Tom's family invites you to share your memories with them on Sunday, June 5th from 9:00am to 11:30am at the Urban Ecology Center at 1500 East Park Place in Milwaukee. A private service will follow.
In lieu of flowers, his family asks donations be sent to Big Brothers Big Sisters of Metro Milwaukee or the Door County Land Trust.
Tributes
"very sad and sorry for you to have lost such a great person.
I always loved working with him on the Timberpeg Projects.
Tom will be greatly missed.
Chad Rivet
Designer
Timberpeg"
"So sorry for your family's loss. We are thinking of you Sue. "
"Thinking of the entire Ela family during this difficult time. "
"Remembering countless hours talking to Tom at the Shs pool and the love and pride he showed for his family! Prayers to the Ela family!"
"Tom was always one of my favorite people-he always treated me more like a sister than his sister's sister-in-law.His generosity and kindness knew no bounds. I will miss him more than words can say. I hope he is now at peace. "
"Tom was always willing to take my kids out in the boat or the kayak or the canoe. He loved sharing the beauty of nature with everyone. He always warned the neighbors on Lake B if Kate and Ben were coming.......my children were very exuberant at the lake! I will miss his gentle approach and kindness and especially how much he loved and appreciated one of my dearest friends, Sue. He leaves behind a beautiful and healthy family who will cherish his memory and the years that they shared with him. My heart aches for Sue and her children and I am very sad for this loss of life. God Bless Sue, her children and sweet Kate."
"You will always be my Big Brother Tom. The world needs more of you in it. Your kindness and compassion had a profound impact on my life. I wish I had the opportunity to tell you in person.....Thank you and I love you."
"My husband Scott and I are profoundly sorry for your loss. Tom always made our daughter Caila feel welcome in your home. His warmth and generosity will be missed."
"I will miss Uncle Tom very much and will cherish all of the memories I shared with him. "
"The memories are swirling thru my brain, our single days together, you, Jim and I living on Downer Introducing you to Sue, your loving wife, and our days with Brea. Your patience with us during our remodeling, you were always a gentlemen, despite some physical competition with Jim, you always won,including the grape catching contest. I am sorry that we never were aware of your illness, you hide it well, as you would to spare others of your pain. Everything you touched was done impeccably and everyone you meet knew you as a gentle giant of love and kindness, especially your family, which was always first! You calmed us all as now you have found peace. May your family find peace knowing you have left this world knowing they will understand forgive and carry your strength with them. Love and good luck with the athletics up there, they have no idea you are the champion!!"
"I wish there were words to describe how much you are loved and how much you will be missed. The world was such a better place while you were in it. Saddened beyond measure."