"Hats off to whomever wrote this brilliant obit."
In loving memory of
John Carver
January 6, 1945 - November 2, 2023
John Alexander Carver was a man of contradictions. He was sweet but salty. He was book-smart but naive about whom he could trust. He was worldly yet detested traveling abroad. He loved his kids but couldn't remember their birthdays. Even his eyes were contradictory--one was blue and the other green. And although he was not a religious man, he was born on Epiphany Day of 1945 and exited this world on the Day of the Dead 2023.
John was the second of four boys born to Roy J. Carver and Lucille A. (Young) Carver of Muscatine. He spent his formative years playing golf and gin rummy, working for his dad, and hassling his brothers. In 1963, John graduated from Muscatine High School. While a student at the University of Iowa, he spent more time playing cards than studying. He was a lifelong Hawkeye fan and generously donated to the University of Iowa's John and Marcia Carver Nonprofit Genetic Testing Laboratory. He loved his beautiful wife Marcia so much that he married her twice. John started several businesses during his life. He also loved horse racing. Having a stable of horses reinforced his ability to make money disappear like a magician. As a proud co-owner of the filly Blind Luck, he was thrilled when she won the 2010 Kentucky Oaks.
John should have come with a warning label. He loved to needle and shock people. His wildly inappropriate jokes were usually delivered with a deadpan drawl and a knowing smirk. Teasing was his love language. If you could return his jabs twofold, you were his kind of person. The more outrageous the comment, the better!
As a shock jock and master of chaos, fittingly, when the end came, the chaos didn't stop. There was a mix-up and the wrong funeral home picked him up. He would have been amused by that.
John left behind an assortment of collectible golf clubs and guns, pampered rescued cats, and a bereaved Hooters waitstaff. He will be greatly missed by these assholes he called family: wife Marcia (Glassner) of Rock Island; brother Roy (and Pat) of Muscatine; brother Martin (and Mimi) of Las Vegas; son Robby (and Jenny) of Muscatine; daughter Alex (and Steve) of Iowa City; son John Jr. of Milan; son Joe (and Abby) of Bolingbrook; grandson Anthony (and Caitlyn) of Conesville; granddaughter Devin of Chicago; grandson Michael of Muscatine; grandson Bob of Muscatine; granddaughter Sawyer of Milan; granddaughter Rylee and her mother Angie of Moline; grandson Joshua of Muscatine; granddaughter River and her mother Rara of Bali; great grandson Henry of Conesville; and his first wife Liz (Asthalter) of Riverside. John is now reunited with his brother Clayton, father Roy, mother Lucille, and son Jared at a raucous family reunion in the sky.
He will be buried at a private graveside service. To memorialize this animal lover, please rescue a cat or donate to the Quad City Animal Welfare Center at www.qcawc.org.
Tributes
"Dear Carver family, I am so sorry for your loss. I knew John through school and through Liz in their early years. My father worked for Roy for many years so we fondly remember them all. "
"Dear Carver family, I didn't personally know John but have known/know several of you via my Bob Weis affiliation. I want to say I am sorry for however you will feel his loss and that this may be my favorite obituary writing of all time. Sincerely, Kris and Bob Weis"
"Well I remember playing a lot of golf with John and Clayton. If I remember, his nickname was ?pig??if I?m wrong, someone will undoubtably correct me. I really never quite knew how to handle John?s, mostly snide remarks. But he could hit the golf ball. I was saddened when Clayton lost his life?I was lucky enough to play on the State Champion Golf team with the boys?.that group will never be together again, but God had all this planned out ahead of time. John, you were a piece of work to all who knew you. I?ll say Rest In Peace if you can?.you touched a lot of lives?in many various ways. I remember you well, my friend(?) God Bless???????"
"Sorry to hear about John?s passing. He was an amazing guy with such a kind heart and a one of a kind personality. He and my Dad, Kenny Roman, had a great Mutt and Jeff type of friendship with some 25-30 years of age between them. My Dad loved playing golf and cards with his buddy. John was so kind to him. Even when my Dad was nearing the end of his life, John would come over to the house and play some cards and keep him laughing. I thanked God many times for John Carver. RIP buddy! I have no doubt that Kenny Roman is waiting for you in heaven! Healing prayers for the family! Hold tight to your happy memories. With love, Cindy Roman Erickson "
"John and I grew up two blocks apart, met in kindergarten, and became friends. It has been many years since he and I last visited but I still consider him as a friend. I am saddened that he is gone."
"Many people may not know that John Carver was a huge fan of babies. I will forever remember him laying on my living room floor letting two toddlers and two crawling babies climb over ?Mount John?! He was so patient and got a kick out of laughing babies. Best part was Marcia and I got to have a Pepsi and get a break. What a guy!!!"
"John was a good person who, as his son mentioned, had ??..a generous spirit and a heart bigger than most realized?..?. I?m glad to have known him. He will live on with ongoing memories and stories, for sure, and I pray that brings comfort and joy to the Carver family. "
"John was all the things mentioned but above all he was good friend. May he rest in peace"
"Sad to hear of his passing. He was such a kind man and have nothing but great and funny memories going back to being a kid, especially the always entertaining drives to school. Hope you all find peace and comfort and you all will be in thoughts and prayers."
"So sorry to hear of John's passing.Spent a few years on the golf course with John when we were younger.Always fun and entertaining playing with John.In the most respectable and competitive way,he was a true 'garbage golfer's but great to with. I will always remember John(Pig ). Tom Fahy "