John Carver

John Alexander Carver was a man of contradictions. He was sweet but salty. He was book-smart but naive about whom he could trust. He was worldly yet detested traveling abroad. He loved his kids but couldn't remember their birthdays. Even his eyes were contradictory--one was blue and the other green. And although he was not a religious man, he was born on Epiphany Day of 1945 and exited this world on the Day of the Dead 2023. John was the second of four boys born to Roy J. Carver and Lucille A. (Young) Carver of Muscatine. He spent his formative years playing golf and gin rummy, working for his dad, and hassling his brothers. In 1963, John graduated from Muscatine High School. While a student at the University of Iowa, he spent more time playing cards than studying. He was a lifelong Hawkeye fan and generously donated to the University of Iowa's John and Marcia Carver Nonprofit Genetic Testing Laboratory. He loved his beautiful wife Marcia so much that he married her twice. John started several businesses during his life. He also loved horse racing. Having a stable of horses reinforced his ability to make money disappear like a magician. As a proud co-owner of the filly Blind...[more]

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ck, he was thrilled when she won the 2010 Kentucky Oaks. John should have come with a warning label. He loved to needle and shock people. His wildly inappropriate jokes were usually delivered with a deadpan drawl and a knowing smirk. Teasing was his love language. If you could return his jabs twofold, you were his kind of person. The more outrageous the comment, the better! As a shock jock and master of chaos, fittingly, when the end came, the chaos didn't stop. There was a mix-up and the wrong funeral home picked him up. He would have been amused by that. John left behind an assortment of collectible golf clubs and guns, pampered rescued cats, and a bereaved Hooters waitstaff. He will be greatly missed by these assholes he called family: wife Marcia (Glassner) of Rock Island; brother Roy (and Pat) of Muscatine; brother Martin (and Mimi) of Las Vegas; son Robby (and Jenny) of Muscatine; daughter Alex (and Steve) of Iowa City; son John Jr. of Milan; son Joe (and Abby) of Bolingbrook; grandson Anthony (and Caitlyn) of Conesville; granddaughter Devin of Chicago; grandson Michael of Muscatine; grandson Bob of Muscatine; granddaughter Sawyer of Milan; granddaughter Rylee and her mother Angie of Moline; grandson Joshua of Muscatine; granddaughter River and her mother Rara of Bali; great grandson Henry of Conesville; and his first wife Liz (Asthalter) of Riverside. John is now reunited with his brother Clayton, father Roy, mother Lucille, and son Jared at a raucous family reunion in the sky. He will be buried at a private graveside service. To memorialize this animal lover, please rescue a cat or donate to the Quad City Animal Welfare Center at www.qcawc.org.