Transcript From Our Video Interview with Kelsi Tesone Mathews at In Memoriam Funeral Parlour & Crematory.
Heather:
Hi everyone. And thanks for checking in with us at Funeral Innovations, Trends, Tips, and Technology, where we chat with leaders in the profession to discuss marketing trends, business tips, and technology innovation. Plus, we talk about how digital marketing helps you better serve your families. I’m Heather Mierzejewski. I am the Marketing Director here at Funeral Innovations.
Alex:
I’m Alex McCracken, VP of Sales here at Funeral Innovations.
Heather:
And today we’re happy to have with us, Kelsi Tesone Mathews. She is the founder of In Memoriam Funeral Parlour and Crematory. Thanks so much for joining us today, Kelsi.
Kelsi:
Hi, thanks.
Alex:
Hey, can you kick us off by just telling us a little more about yourself and about your business, where you’re located, what families you serve, that sort of thing?
Kelsi:
Sure. We are the proverbial mom and pop funeral home. We are located in Broomfield, Colorado. We sit right between Denver and Boulder, for those of you that are familiar with where all of those capitals are here in Colorado. I am a mortuary science practitioner. I got my degree in 2008 and went on to, I mean, basically stay in the death industry, my entire career. And we’re now on our almost three and a half years here at In Memoriam.
Alex:
Can you maybe tell us a little bit about your time leading up to purchasing and running your own funeral home and, and what you know, where you are at? What other funeral homes, what led you on this path?
Kelsi:
Sure. So I started with a family-owned funeral firm back in 2007, I suppose it was, and I really just loved what they stood for their values, there really being a face of what funeral service is and not making it something that’s intimidating for families. So we really took that and ran with it and saw a necessity for more choices here in Broomfield for our residents to have a little bit more decision-making when it came to their end-of-life planning. And I still find value in family-owned funeral service. And just again, what it entails that, that personal touch and where it relates to death and dying for our community.
Alex:
Do you feel that the family-owned and operated just tend to have more of the families in mind or what is it that you feel like creates that personal connection with those, with the families, that it’s better served for the family-owned and operated funeral home?
Kelsi:
Sure. I think it’s a really natural fit for families to care for families. And so I try to hone in on that message. A lot of times when I’m first making contact with a family, or if somebody’s calling me and just have questions that we’re just, we’re just real people with their real needs in mind, and we can customize and make something just really, really a personal experience for them when their entire world feels like it’s gotten out of control.
Heather:
What made you decide to start your own funeral home? I mean, you were working for another family-owned one. What made you decide to take the leap and do it for your own home?
Kelsi:
When I was faced with a newer, bigger business coming in and purchasing the funeral home that I was currently at, I just, again, I didn’t quite see eye to eye with the way that things would have been handled. And I actually took a hiatus and I went working went on working for an organ procurement agency here in Colorado. They were a tissue bank as well. And again, really stayed true to my roots with the death care portion of everything. But I knew that if I ever got back into funeral directing, I would really want it to be that full spectrum of care where we get the first call, and then we’re with that family all the way until the end whether it be the burial or the cremation. And so getting back into something that I could control and, and show families that we are here, every single step of the way was really the main point of us branching off and doing this on our own. And it was a big leap there. There’s no doubt about that, but we found again, the value in just the community and being able to get this up and going.
Alex:
And I know as you probably know, everyone refers to Colorado as the wild West of the death care industry is you don’t have to be a licensed funeral director to own a funeral home, but I’m wondering what it was like actually taking that leap. What the process was like. I know you and I have spoken before, and you mentioned that you actually had a lot of families, existing families who knew you opened up your new space, but curious about what that actual process look like in terms of starting filing for you know your LLC or whatever incorporation you have and getting to the point you are at now.
Kelsi:
I, you know, it’s, it’s always unfortunate to me that Colorado is kind of the laughing stock of the funeral directors. However, those of us that are real professionals in this industry, I mean, we’re very self-policing. We make sure that we have all that continued education. I have my degree in mortuary science, and I know a lot of colleagues that have that same degree. And then we go on to take the board certifications, the same national boards, that all the other states require for licensure. So even though we’re a little rogue in that sense, I do believe that there is a very high level of providers. And as a matter of fact, I think Colorado’s mortuary laws are actually some of the highest and most difficult in all of the countries. So it’s been again, it’s been very eye-opening to begin this process and we really wanted to go about things the right way from the beginning.
So initially just finding a spot and again, making those networks and those professional relationships that we knew would be beneficial later on down the road and, and ensuring, I mean, truly that we were not burning any bridges on the way here, because we never know when, when we would need somebody or when we would need to call upon somebody else. And so just even beginning that process was like, it gives me anxiety, even thinking back to kind of what we had to do for everything. But we started just by kind of doing our own research and finding it out. And luckily I was very well versed in the field and I helped run a Denver chapter funeral directors for a very long time. So again, my network of professionals was pretty broad and just the connections just got us, got us to where we needed to be.
I can’t stress that enough in this endeavor. Of course, I was pregnant the majority of the time while we were applying for all the permits and getting everything pulled. And I probably felt like I was pregnant for three years, even though we all know it was like nine months, but the majority of our construction happened while I was pregnant. And it really made me tough. I mean, I just didn’t want to take no for an answer. If I got to a very unclear response to something, I would find four different ways around it in order to make that happen.
Heather:
So, Kelsi, how did you guys get your first family? Was it those connections that you were talking about?
Kelsi:
Yes. So, I mean, right out of the get-go we had a church contact us and I had the privilege of taking care of the father of this family earlier in that summer. So they had tracked me down through a prior funeral home and actually ended up calling the church, asking where I was and we took care of the mom. And I mean, where you were two days in business and I couldn’t believe it. And again, it just goes to show you how strong community actually is and all of this and people speaking to people.
Alex:
Yeah. And what are, what do you feel like is next? You know, I’m also curious to hear about your thoughts of, as we all know, the Denver Metro area is very corporate. So I imagine that the focus on family-owned and operated is going to be a huge key to success moving forward. But do you have any other goals that you’re focusing on as well?
Kelsi:
I feel extremely grateful that, that we are actually hearing that from our families too, that they’d much rather support a local business than go out to some of these corporate places. And I think that’s just business mentality in general here in Colorado. I’m the same way as we can find a restaurant we like, and you know, that the service is phenomenal. Absolutely. I would pick that over any chain any day. And in terms of growing and changing and kind of taking it from here, you know, a lot of that is going to be very COVID reliant and kind of seeing where the world progresses in terms of get-togethers and gatherings. And we’ve been very fortunate that we can find some innovative ways to commemorate people, whether it be celebrating virtually or having a little bit more private style ceremony or something that we do here a little bit more intimate.
And, you know, I mean, of course, my goals would be a big, beautiful chapel and something to really find ways to get creative and again celebrate a very broad spectrum of individuals in one particular place. But right now I’m pretty content with the way that we have things set up. We’re able to, again, just provide that, that intimacy and that personal touch that we wouldn’t probably otherwise be able to, if we did have a huge facility. So it’s all, it’s all kind of in the works, but for now, we’re pretty content with where we are.
Heather:
You mentioned COVID, can you just talk a little bit about that journey during the past year? Like what changed for you, have things gone back to normal at all.
Kelsi:
You know, back in March when it was all kind of just hearsay, so to speak, it was, it was a little weird. April of last year was definitely a challenge for me mentally because all of a sudden I’m thrown into being an essential worker for something that nobody else really wants to handle. Right. You know, we have our doctors and nurses and everybody fighting around the clock for that. And I think that there was a little bit of I guess, attention put towards the desk care workers that we are also the ones that are facing this. And yeah, I mean, again, when we didn’t have any answers, it was, it was quite terrifying to still have to come in, to work every single day. And when you’re a husband and wife team, I mean that leaves little to no downtime in between to really think. And again, we had very understanding families during that time and we would, we would tell them, you know, this is what we can offer and we are happy to help you get through this time.
If we’re not the provider for you, you know, please let us help you find somebody else. And all of our families stuck with us and we got them through all of that in a very, very scary time for everyone. And I mean, just really April through may last year were just so heavy. Heavy on everyone. And then you include the death angles, everything, and it just adds layers upon layers of grief. And we finally were able to push through that to, and, you know, I hate to say that now it’s just this, this normalcy, right. We’re living alongside COVID and what that looks like to our families. We’re still needing to explain a lot of rules and regulations to families. I think the hardest, the biggest challenge for me though, is families that come in and don’t think that COVID is a real virus. And to me, gosh, it’s such a disservice to the families that we’ve served that have lost a loved one to COVID. So just trying to balance that and, and again just stay out of the political side, stay out of the personal side of everything and just call it what it is. I mean, it is a virus it’s very real and I think for a little bit longer, anyway, it’s here to stay, but I’m very, I’m very glad of the strides that we’re making on the scientific side of everything.
Alex:
Yeah. I know across the country, everyone having to deal with those same problems, just manifesting in different ways. So I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on that. Well, you know, I know we, we obviously have a profession here that’s very much male-dominated, a lot of male funeral homeowners out there. And I’m wondering if you can speak a little bit about what it was like either the startup process or continuing you know, being a female owner in the industry and what that’s like.
Kelsi:
Well, I absolutely love it. I mean, I think if anybody can run with that adversity that they’re given and make something awesome out of it, then kudos to you. I feel like I was supported. I mean, I really had a lot of unwavering support from individuals that I knew would be behind me on this the whole way, but gosh, getting started. I mean, a lot of it really was like, Oh, you know, here she goes. And good luck. And there in my heart of hearts, I just knew it was going to work out and needed some, some people behind me to, to help support that dream. And one of those people was my husband, thank God. And he was extremely supportive from the beginning and this was a funeral home that I wanted to go public with.
So to speak, it was, it was originally going to be a kind of trade. And I just, couldn’t fathom not doing this with families in this city, in this community. Now, all that saying, I don’t think I would be successful in Denver, or it would be a little bit harder for me in Denver, but Broomfield is my community. This is, this is my bread. And these are the people I grew up with and my neighbors. And again, just many years of that support, kind of behind us getting us through. We had a lot of pastors who knew us from previous funeral homes and they would advocate for us all the time with the city and really just help that help, whoever needed to hear it, find the importance of a family-owned funeral home. And, you know, again, going back to the woman-led, I mean, it’s just, I’m so grateful.
I’ve worked my butt off to be where I am. And it, it definitely shows, I think if, if we were to sit here and I talked for the next, you know, 10 hours about the actual journey, but Holy cow, it was, it was hard. And every year from the college, the mortuary college that’s here in Colorado, I do see an increased number of female students. And I think that’s a trend that’s been probably around since the early to mid-2000s or so. So I do think that there’s a very natural fit for women in the funeral industry. And I am so proud of us.
Heather:
That’s awesome, Kelsi. This is our last question. We ask everybody this question. What’s the biggest lesson that you’ve learned being in this profession?
Kelsi:
The biggest lesson is that you get one chance to make everything right for somebody. So really just making it about that family, about that decedent and about their experience about their life and how you’re going to honor. It is so very important. And again, you get one shot to make this, that memory for these families, the rest of their days. So just focus on getting through that, making it right. If something went wrong, make it right. If something didn’t go the way you wanted it to make it right. So just making it right.
Alex:
I think it gets lost on a lot of people that in the death care services, the first impression is often always the last impression with these families. And so really like that. So well, Kelsi, we really appreciate you joining us today for Tips, Trends, and Technologies. For all of you out there who would like any more content or to see any of our other interviews. You can go onto youtube.com/FuneralInnovations, and we’ll have plenty of other material out there for you. Want to thank everyone for viewing and especially thank you, Kelsi, for attending. And we look forward to your continued success in Broomfield and you know, maintaining that great status you have there.
Kelsi:
Thank you, guys. And thank you for having me Funeral Innovations.
Heather:
Yeah, we really appreciate it. Thanks so much, guys. That’s all we got for today.
